Thinking about another

January 4, 2010

I started wanting another baby right about the time Calvin turned one. David began to share the same sentiment a few months later. We both agree that we are emotionally ready. We are materially ready. I am mostly physically ready (I want Calvin to nurse for awhile longer, and I am afraid that my supply may plummet once pregnant). That should be about it, right? What else could possibly factor into this decision?

Well, quite a few little things. First of all, it’s only recently that things have become easy for us. Over the past six months or so, we have really hit our stride as a family. While we certainly have our share of hiccups, overall we have things mostly figured out. While Calvin continues to require near-constant supervision, he no longer has a laundry list of physical needs that consumes our every moment. Very often he’s happy to go along for the ride and play beside us as we go throughout the day. Combined with his adorable demeanor, sweet personality and the cute little things he is always doing, we’re in a state of parenting bliss over here.

Am I ready to give this up?

Calvin’s babyhood was difficult for me. Despite being madly in love with him from the moment I laid eyes on him, there were times when the demands were overwhelming and I wasn’t sure if I could do it again with another child. Furthermore, I expect there will be an interruption of Calvin’s current blissful state before too long, likely sometime in the next year. You know, like right around the time a new baby would be born. So there is the very real possibility that I would have a tantruming toddler and a demanding newborn to deal with simultaneously.

My reasons not to rush into another pregnancy:

  • David will likely continue to take night classes. I am afraid of how I will cope when he is gone all the time. Fortunately my parents live nearby and I know I can count on them to help me out, yet this is definitely one of my biggest concerns.
  • It will mean a dip in our earnings, since I likely will not return to work. We should still have plenty of income, but we have to say good-bye to our safety cushion and slush fund. The slush fund is especially near and dear to me, since it has allowed me to continue to fix up our outdated, worn-out house. It sounds so pathetic, but one reason why I want to wait awhile longer is so that I have a little more money for renovations.
  • Sleep. Calvin is still not night-weaned and that really has to happen before a new baby. Preferably I’d like it to happen before I am too far along in my pregnancy.
  • I want to feel a little more organized before adding another child to the mix.
  • I would like to take a vacation before the appearance of babe #2. I regret not taking a nice vacation before Calvin’s birth.
  • I’m a bit overwhelmed with the thought of handling two kids during liturgy.

Reasons why I think we should go for it right now:

  • Nothing is guaranteed. I could suffer another miscarriage. We might not achieve pregnancy right away. Life is so precious and I would surely never regret the presence of another baby in my arms. Not to mention, the job that provides my slush fund is also far from guaranteed.
  • We would like Calvin and his sibling to be fairly close in age. If I were to get pregnant tomorrow, that would mean a 25 month gap.
  • We both feel that we are ready. Neither of us is the type to leap into things. I trust our instincts on this.
  • Perhaps the silliest reason: if we wait past this month, then the new baby would have a birthday around the holidays. If we wait past the next few months, then the new baby would have a birthday in the late winter months. Both are unappealing to me for whatever reason. I would like to have another summer or fall baby.

The conclusion? There is none. I guess we’ll take it day by day until all of my minuscule concerns fall away.

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